i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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