omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
