I want to stick my p in your. b.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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