one might say we're banned from that church
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
