Duck Duck Cougar?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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