I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
