have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
