ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
