honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
