yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
