So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
