i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
