I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
