And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
