I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
