I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
