How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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