The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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