TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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