but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize