I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i will never coherently bang her
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
