awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
