She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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