I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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