Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
