I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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