the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
