Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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