I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
