The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
