the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
