There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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