There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
