So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I love having hate sex.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
