my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The adults are the big ones right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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