we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
