Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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