Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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