the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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