Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
