Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
