Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is her dick bigger than yours?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
