Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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