oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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