We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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