I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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