I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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