So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
