I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize