therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize