There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
