Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
