glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
