no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
