VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we made out on top of his cat.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
