Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
