even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
