Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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