Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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