we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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