so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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