This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
